Thank You

Hey guys, I will be putting a stop to my 4 yrs of blogging journey. All good things have to come to an end. I can't be blogging forever.

Thanks for being with me all along, sharing my thoughts and all. It has been an enriching experience for myself, in my own personal way. But I am tired le. Kinda growing out of it. So this shall be the end.

For those of you who are still blogging or have just started blogging, do continue to do so! I am sure you are enjoying it like what I have been. I will be reading for sure.

Thank you to all once again!! Really appreciated your readership all these years. heheee.

Cya guys around! Ciaoz!!

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Out of the blue

Actuali I feel like shutting down my blog . Hope u guys dont mind when I finally bring myself to do it one day.

Well I am just wondering why am I blogging. I know some of you read it religiously (;p) , I appreciate it. Tks. But its not really the issue of whether ppl care to read or not. I just suddenly find it very weird for me to have to update and announce things to some of you through this mode of contact. Its weird. Its good and bad in a way. I dunno y am I feeling this way out of a sudden too.

Despite having felt this way from time to time, I have been blogging for 4 freaking yrs! OMG, Thats pretty long! Maybe its time to put a beautiful full stop to this blogging journey.


Anyway I feel like signing up for singing class to learn how to sing, seriously. Anyone has any good and cheap singing schools to recommend and wanna join together with me? Hahe.. Well not that I aspire to become a singer la. I just want to learn the techniques of singing so that I can enjoy singing better. I used to like to sing but not able to sing well gradually made me lose the interest in singing as time goes. HA. You know. I used to record my own singing for fun and leisure when I am bored at home. Den when I listen to it, I will be like thinking: " Oh man...why like that one? so boring. no gao cao one." Sucks la. haha. Yalor so I am feeling the impulse to want to learn how to sing better with my diaphragm and all. Its good for voice production.

Anyway I like a song quite much. haha. it may be an old song alr by now or wat la i dunno but hu cares. I like it loh! Go and listen ! Apologize by Timberland. Has also been playing on radio stations.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ePyRrb2-fzs
Nice?

Another link. I think my this ex pri sch fren sing very well! I like his voice. hai...I want to sing like him! haha.. i mean as good as him lor...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeJ6Sk1fOXs
Ha.. I like help him advertise.

So happy that Karina, YJ and Iris will be coming back to Sg within the next few months!! Yea!!


Tmr is my last observation session at SGH. Hope to get a temp job soon to earn some income man! Very scared to see only withdrawal and no deposits in my bank account. haha.

Hi. I am an unemployed.

Tag reply to pei and others who might be in similar state of mind, just to share:

Yah I quitted without a job (but with a plan in mind in the end). I did try to look for a replacement job frantically at the earlier stage of contemplation. I send resumes to various places, hoping to get contacted just so that I can quit my job eventually. Lucky I was silly enough to state in my resume that I can only start work in a few months time so I never got contacted in the end. HA. I later rationalize that it would be a hasty rush if I were to find and end up in another job just so to be able to quit my job with a proper reason.

I was contemplating for around 2 to 3 mths then. I spoke to a number of people including some of you thru email and in person, and also some of my closer colleagues. Their responses are positive and encouraging. Well, in a way, I choose the right ppl to talk to. I alr know the answer inside me. I just want reaffirmation and encouragement to do what I want. I keep hinting to my parents to test their reactions too. Well my parents are the best parents on earth so of cos I am least worried abt what they think cos I noe they care abt me.

In addition, I was also exploring the option of furthering my studies too, weighing the pros and cons, looking ard here and there. I searched and found something.

Thus it was a pretty long contemplation and struggle before I finally DO it with reason to my boss that I want to plan for furthering my studies.

Of cos I felt bad to leave my colleagues at such critical time when staff strength is low and caseload is high. I really wanted to stay for a few more mths initially just so to wait for more new staff to join (which is the reason why I state in my resume in Mar that I can preferably start work from July onwards. HA. So funny now that I come to think of it). Some ppl told me that I am silly. They said: The organization won't die becos of you. There will always be insufficient staff. You are still young. You have your life to run. Go ahead to do wat you want.

I like my colleagues generally. They probably will be the only reason that is worth for me to stay in the job. But my priority in a job is very simple. There must be job satisfaction and enough motivation for me to find meaning in continue doing it. Others are secondary.


Just my penny worth of advice- listen and follow your heart. I really did what my heart tells me. It has been cringing for quite some time and I was desperate enough to ease the discomfort. And I made the choice. I was very happy that I did it. I am also prepared to live with the consequences of it, considering that my circumstances allow me to.



Anyway just to share, I am currently doing an attachment stint at NUH & SGH for observation sessions. (Anyway Yiling, thanks for helping me to ask abt KKH too though too bad it is fully booked)

The application for the masters course that I am interested to take in nus is open now which I most probably would try to apply for it after finishing my attachment prgms. Its very competitive to get in and I am crossing my fingers. Anyway, even if I fail to get in, it is probably a blessing in disguise for me. Other options shall have to set in, for better or worse. Things happen for a reason. I can always make up for it.



Anyway my sis' show is up at 9pm. Do catch it and support her if you can. Tks. She has a hard time acting a role that is so not her. Ha. Who ask her to be an actor rite? Actor is like that one mah. You dont act urself leh. Hee. Anyway, its no easy job lar. No job is easy. No money is easy to earn. There are sacrifices to be made. Again, you weight ur pros and cons and you decide for urself.


Wah I write so long ah.....cos I am unemployed mah. Got time but no money.....haha.

Day of Relief- 30 May 2008

As some of you might know, I have decided to leave my job after in it for abt 1 yr & 8 mths.
YYEEAA!!!! Today marks the last official day! I am jubilant!


To explain why I quiited my job, I can write a 1000 words essay.......
[Parts deleted to secure confidentiality]





Surprisingly, my boss and colleagues think of me as very different from what I think of myself.

Some of think think that I am a very patient person which is to my advantage as they assume that clients will not bear to scold or shout at me and will instead listen and comply with me.

WRONG: I am actually quite an impatient and bad tempered person. I think my mother and one of you will totally agree with me. I have little patience with difficult clients who are rude, demanding and unreasonable. Ok. I agree that I probably don't show it very much on my face cos I avoid conflicts as best as I could but I am really fuming inside me. Thats why i say i am not patient or good tempered. A genuinely good tempered and patient person wont feel angry at all. But I do. And I get really sulky and grumpy after that.

Because I am impatient, I am also someone with a high sense of urgency and high level of neuroticism. I admit that alot of times I give myself unnecessary stress to want to meet certain deadlines to finish the cases so that my clients can get the money on time and not come and scold or harass me. I stay back almost every night to do my cases. Ppl think that I stay back bcos I am stressed. WRONG. The fact that I can stay back make me less stress and it reduces my stress so that I have extra time to do my work and I wont be so stress on the next working day. Some colleagues with the same working style as me will know what I mean by this logic. I even bring cases home to do. I am paranoid to a certain extent. If uncontrolled, I can be someone with no work-life balance as I am very task-oriented.

Am I suitable for this job? I really dunno. It works for and against me I feel.

Nonetheless, there are also reasons which I feel that I am suited for this job which I shant elaborate here orelse it will get lengthy.

I do have an exit plan after my resignation which is just one of my alternatives. Shall take things one at a time.

To date, the pillar of support during my course of work is truly my mother. She shared alot of my burdens from work just by giving me a listening ear and offering me a different perspective. If not for her, I think I can go insane. My mum totally understands the frustration that I am going tru whenever I tell her certain things. Sometimes she will even tell me that, "I really dun want to be in ur job." But of cos I think I have told her too many sad and poor stories that she is growing to get tired of hearing them. HA. She must be happy that I quitted lar. oh well.


My mother once told me that my stories at work are very sad and poor to the extent that its boring and uninteresting to hear, unlike criminal stories which are more unusual and juicy. She cautioned that if I have a husband, I shld refrain from pouring out to him as he probably wouldnt like to listen to them every single day. But isnt it true that husband and wife should share their woes?

I once read a meaningful article that reads:

"In life, there are more sorrows than happiness. There are too many people whom you can share your happiness with, not necessary your lover. If you live your life happily, you can also enjoy it alone. Sadness, however not many people is willing to share burden with you. If you are willing to tell him/her your unhappiness, she/he got to be someone who is closest and most understanding to you.

How to decide if you love 2 persons at the same time? When you are sad, which gal/guy you want to share your burden with? Whoever that comes to mind first is the one you love more. If you think of the same guy/gal when you are happy and sad, thats the most perfect. If not, choose the one you are willing to share your sadness with."



If you are sad, who comes to your mind first? Answer yourself honestly....

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Our heartfelt condolences to survivors and victims of Sze Chuan Earthquake disaster

Our hearts bleed each time those tragic moments are flashed on screen
The immense amt of pain and misery
It's probably hard for us to imagine
Yet we feel it together with you
We really do.

Apart from admiring the efforts of the rescue workers
Giving a little from what we have in our pockets
Expressing deep felt sympathy and grief
There is just so much we can do
So little we can help.

Those dreams and desires that you once speak so loud
Those familiar things that that you used to see and felt
What's left seem so empty and broken now.

Bear in mind that each member of the human race are all standing up
To give you our every bit of help
To walk you through and towards
A future that still holds for you.


You are not helpless
You will not be alone

Cos our hopes and aspirations for you are ALIVE.



* Also hope to extend my condolences to Myanmar Cyclone victims who unfortunately are not well receiving the aid that they should get due to the nature of its political climate which is depriving human rights which to me is totally inexplicable...

Once in awhile....

I like Double O on friday nite. Let's go Double O the next time, girls (jenny and gang). The music rocks. Pop and R&B. My favourite music to be able to dance like nobody's business. And it wasn't as crowded as those common places like St James. The only drawback is that it closes at 3am. Very early.

My clubbing mood is back. I guess I like the feeling of being tipsy and able to lose some of my own awareness yet staying sober. Perhaps, most of the time I think too much of how ppl judge me so when it comes to letting my hair down, I can reali do so at ease. It feels great.

Though it was the first time I go clubbing with this few of my colleagues (inclusive of 2 new staff and 1 from another dept), it was an enjoyable feeling despite the initial moments of uncertanties since afterall I have never gone clubbing with them b4. I am already looking fwd to our next proposed clubbing date. Too bad I am leaving them soon...dunno issit possible to keep in touch or not.

Trying to sleep....think I slept too much during these few days of clearing leave, thats why I am still awake now. HA.

The coldest day of my life - Chi gu de leng

When I said that I had a terribly cold day at Disneyland, I wasn't quite kidding. It was colder than in Mt Fuji!

Ironically, Disneyland was one of my most anticipated places of interest yet it turned out to be a disastrous cold and rainy place that I remembered it to be.

At first it was only drizzling. We thought the rain might be short-lived but its not Spore.

Initially, we were quite high with the rain and strong wind that blows onto our face. Well it was quite fun at first you see, with the wind so strong that it blew up our umbrella. We were like screaming away.




The indoor is the only comfort zone that can keep me warm and smiley.




From the wetness of my pants, you can imagine how drenched and uncomfortable I feel.


We then queued for an outdoor ride. When it was our turn to be on the ride, it has already started pouring heavily. Yes, heavily. Our sweater, hair and all are totally wet! AAAHHHH....the start of nightmare.


It was so damn uncomfortable and terribly cold esp when the strong wind keep blowing whenever we reach outdoors. I regretted not wearing thick enough clothing. Serve me right for wearing so thin clothing. Underestimated the coldness but curse the rain and wind.


Since after that first ride, Clara and myself were freezing for the rest of the day, Diana was reasonably warmed with her rather thick sheepy sweater that she bought. Thus, Clara and myself have termed the coldness as 'Chi gu de leng" -coldness that strike right into the bone and heart.

Unfortunately, the rain in TOKYO is long-lived.






Sorry, I dint manage to take much photos cos I was literally freezing beneath the wet sweater I was wearing. Totally lost the mood and strength to take photos.

We are left to take those seemingly kiddish indoor rides which has however brighten up our mood. The indoor rides bring you into beautiful dreamylands and fantasy worlds that totally rock the inner child in you. It was entertaining and beautiful!




Yet, after finishing each indoor ride, we are back to facing the harsh cold weather so as to get to other places. Back to freezing time. GRRRR.....

We thought we will most prob get sick the next day. But luckily, we dint as we were left to fend for ourselves for the extended 3 days all on our own.