Ppl like to say looks dont matter larh...personality counts. Yayaya...even i say that, but come to think of it, do U and I really not matter that at all?
Yes, life is not fair. You cannot choose the kind of looks you want. But dun worry, there is always plastic surgery.
(haiya kidding larh, U noe that is not what I mean).
As much as I agree that first impression is important as that usually determines the possibility of future contacts, a person's true nature is ultimately going to burst thru sooner or later. A person cannot hide his personality for long as he will lose his patience to portray a persona that is not himself. It is tiring to act like someone that is just not you.
For me, as time goes, I cant hide my rather abit (or issit not abit?! ) short temper when occassion arises for me to show. It is just a natural, automatic reaction for me to feel irritated easily sometimes... ok...a new resolution for the coming new year- to control how I feel. Nah forget it I dont feel like changing...opps..ok I mean I will try... I feel especially irritated when ppl misunderstand my intentions. But one day when I dont even bother to feel irritated and to subsequently explain to you my real intentions, that is worse. I will just go completely silent. I will not talk to you AT ALL.
Back to topic,
Usually, to give others a good first impression, you might find urself behaving a somewat-not-like-you self. That is called self-monitoring in social situations.
I don't really fancy unfamiliar situations cos I cannot really be myself. But no choice, life will be full of such occassions eg parties, interviews, functions. Since cannot avoid, just got to get used to the uneasy feelings. Remember once my tutor in a theatre studies class say that if u have stage fright, get nervous infront of audience...den just go thru it...feel the nervousness. I dunno y I find his words especially enlightening. Maybe cos previously I will fear of the possibility of feeling nervous infront of a crowd. After what he says, I find myself more aware of the physiological responses in me and I just allow myself to go thru the reactions consciously and try to take control of them if possible. (sounds like bio-feedback system to me) Heart pounding, let it pound lor...hear it. Hands shaking, let them shake lor...see it. hahz..no larh of cos not like that...bio-feedback means to modify ur physiological reactions accordingly after being consciously aware of them.
First impression no doubt rests heavily on looks and mannerism, but thanks god who you really are is still the ultimate factor that can override a good first impression you failed to make on a date for example. So theres still hope. haz
So dont try too hard to make too good a first impression unless you can promise that U can maintain the standard until the end of time.
Monday, December 27, 2004
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
"Early Xmas & a Good New Year to come ! "
[A few days ago in the train, a chain of Xmas song came out of nowhere. When I turn around, I den realized that a group of teenage guys were walking through the train, singing "We wish U a Merry Xmas (X 3) and a Happy New Year!" They even shake hands with ppl that they pass while singing the song. hahz...so sweett...so funnyy..so daring. Many passengers smiled amusingly at them as they sing past. At first thot they are playing a dare or something. But ultimately believe they did it out of fun and perhaps also out of good intention to create a festive mood, at least in the MRT lar.;p Cute siaz...these young boys. haz.]
Christmas wishes? New Year resolution? Birthday wishes?
Familiar and popular questions annually asked in magazines, by friends and more often made as a routine task when the occassion arises.
We know very well that wishes and resolutions seldom come true. We sometimes even foget about what we had actually wished for. To me, some are only idealistic expectations and hopes, made out of superficial desires.
Nonetheless, ppl still do it, bearing the slightest chance that they may come true.
Nonetheless, as a routine work, I shall do it too, for the sake of doing it. ;p
Since all the 3 occassions are simply neighbours to each other, I shall just make them irrespective of the occassions.
The big picture:
I wish for world peace. (wah liew, so lame, you are not Miss Congeniality lehz!)
I wish for a fruitful, fulfilling and a truly happy 2005. (yeah rite..)
I wish for good health in my family members and friends. (boring...yet an impt one)
The smaller picture:
-I wish for my overall CAP score to be above 4.0 by the end of yr 2005. (go reach for the stars first lah)
-I wish to meet more good friends instead of acquaintances and hope that the present ties with my oldie friends can prove to be strong and ever lasting. (hopefully)
-I wish that I no longer have to countdown to the proposed year of going to S_U. (YW, HL, you know wat i mean rite.)
-
-
- (dun be so greedy ! )
Resolutions:
-I want to achieve a disciplined healthy lifestyle- more fruits & vegetables, more water, regular exercise. (lets see manz...haz..but this is reali one of the ways to feel good and happy)
-I want to be more competent in my driving skills. (dont like to practise larh.. see how u gonna improve!)
-I want to think positively in all aspects of my life. (say very easy...)
-I want to be less fearful but more ready in accepting new things(ideas, challenges, people etc).
-I want to care less about what people think. (ppl who mind dun matter but beware that ppl who matter actuali mind!)
Difference btw wishes and resolutions: Wishes are those that one has limited control in while resolutions are more practical goals that one can has at least a certain control in.
May all dreams come true. A good year ahead for all!
Christmas wishes? New Year resolution? Birthday wishes?
Familiar and popular questions annually asked in magazines, by friends and more often made as a routine task when the occassion arises.
We know very well that wishes and resolutions seldom come true. We sometimes even foget about what we had actually wished for. To me, some are only idealistic expectations and hopes, made out of superficial desires.
Nonetheless, ppl still do it, bearing the slightest chance that they may come true.
Nonetheless, as a routine work, I shall do it too, for the sake of doing it. ;p
Since all the 3 occassions are simply neighbours to each other, I shall just make them irrespective of the occassions.
The big picture:
I wish for world peace. (wah liew, so lame, you are not Miss Congeniality lehz!)
I wish for a fruitful, fulfilling and a truly happy 2005. (yeah rite..)
I wish for good health in my family members and friends. (boring...yet an impt one)
The smaller picture:
-I wish for my overall CAP score to be above 4.0 by the end of yr 2005. (go reach for the stars first lah)
-I wish to meet more good friends instead of acquaintances and hope that the present ties with my oldie friends can prove to be strong and ever lasting. (hopefully)
-I wish that I no longer have to countdown to the proposed year of going to S_U. (YW, HL, you know wat i mean rite.)
-
-
- (dun be so greedy ! )
Resolutions:
-I want to achieve a disciplined healthy lifestyle- more fruits & vegetables, more water, regular exercise. (lets see manz...haz..but this is reali one of the ways to feel good and happy)
-I want to be more competent in my driving skills. (dont like to practise larh.. see how u gonna improve!)
-I want to think positively in all aspects of my life. (say very easy...)
-I want to be less fearful but more ready in accepting new things(ideas, challenges, people etc).
-I want to care less about what people think. (ppl who mind dun matter but beware that ppl who matter actuali mind!)
Difference btw wishes and resolutions: Wishes are those that one has limited control in while resolutions are more practical goals that one can has at least a certain control in.
May all dreams come true. A good year ahead for all!
Friday, December 17, 2004
"Decision dilemmas"
Do you enjoy making decisions?
Well, whether you like it or not, you are doing so almost every minute of your waking life. So don't think you can avoid it simply bcos you dont like it or believe that you are incompetent in it, cos you are everyday practising it without even realising!
From choosing the time to set your alarm clock for the next morning, choosing the fastest route to get to ur destination to thinking of wat to eat for ur meal, your mind is actively processing, choosing what seems to be the best decision for you, sometimes even in the split of a second.
But why do we often find it so difficult and mind wreckin to make decisions? Bcos of external influences from friends and family, the different weightage in the pros and cons of alternatives, the possible consequences of actions etc. Another impt reason i think is the fear of regrets for the decision that has been made.
We just hate making decisions at times, don't we?
Sometimes it gets on my nerves so much that I hope there is a machine for me to press the different alternatives and help me calculate what works best for me. Or perhaps just by using a mathematical formula that can give me a straightforward exact answer with no ambiguity.
When people ask me to make unimpt decisions like where to eat or to do A or B first, as much as I don't like people to answer "anything", I do replied anything sometimes cos its rather bothersome to have to decide even on such things. So for those ppl who like to say 'anything', ok lar..I understand. (I used to be abit annoyed with such answers.) Its the feeling of really anything larh, can eat, have somewhere to go, something to do can already lor, just anything larh. But of cos it shldnt be too much until you are anything on even opinionated issues. Then you would be considered an apathetic soul.
Decisions dilemmas I think are most frequent during shopping trips. The conflict btw wasting money and perceiving the item as a worthy buy is often unavoidable for many economically challenged students like me. Ha. Looking at many of the clothes in my wardrobe, I am unpleasantly dismayed by some of the bad decisions I have made in the past! What actually was going thru my mind when I decided to buy that particular top? Oh manz. Something must be very wrong with me.
Some ppl like to toss coins to make decisions. You will never find me doing that btw. Why let chance make decisions for u? Anyway, that isnt the pt. What I want to say is that many of them actually do have already a decision in mind, but just wanna get some encouragement/reassurance from just any source. Thats why very often, those ppl even after seeing the coin result, still find themselves opposing it and following their heart ultimately. The process of coin tossing is merely a stepping stone to realizing what they actually want/desire, I thot.
Well, whether you like it or not, you are doing so almost every minute of your waking life. So don't think you can avoid it simply bcos you dont like it or believe that you are incompetent in it, cos you are everyday practising it without even realising!
From choosing the time to set your alarm clock for the next morning, choosing the fastest route to get to ur destination to thinking of wat to eat for ur meal, your mind is actively processing, choosing what seems to be the best decision for you, sometimes even in the split of a second.
But why do we often find it so difficult and mind wreckin to make decisions? Bcos of external influences from friends and family, the different weightage in the pros and cons of alternatives, the possible consequences of actions etc. Another impt reason i think is the fear of regrets for the decision that has been made.
We just hate making decisions at times, don't we?
Sometimes it gets on my nerves so much that I hope there is a machine for me to press the different alternatives and help me calculate what works best for me. Or perhaps just by using a mathematical formula that can give me a straightforward exact answer with no ambiguity.
When people ask me to make unimpt decisions like where to eat or to do A or B first, as much as I don't like people to answer "anything", I do replied anything sometimes cos its rather bothersome to have to decide even on such things. So for those ppl who like to say 'anything', ok lar..I understand. (I used to be abit annoyed with such answers.) Its the feeling of really anything larh, can eat, have somewhere to go, something to do can already lor, just anything larh. But of cos it shldnt be too much until you are anything on even opinionated issues. Then you would be considered an apathetic soul.
Decisions dilemmas I think are most frequent during shopping trips. The conflict btw wasting money and perceiving the item as a worthy buy is often unavoidable for many economically challenged students like me. Ha. Looking at many of the clothes in my wardrobe, I am unpleasantly dismayed by some of the bad decisions I have made in the past! What actually was going thru my mind when I decided to buy that particular top? Oh manz. Something must be very wrong with me.
Some ppl like to toss coins to make decisions. You will never find me doing that btw. Why let chance make decisions for u? Anyway, that isnt the pt. What I want to say is that many of them actually do have already a decision in mind, but just wanna get some encouragement/reassurance from just any source. Thats why very often, those ppl even after seeing the coin result, still find themselves opposing it and following their heart ultimately. The process of coin tossing is merely a stepping stone to realizing what they actually want/desire, I thot.
Saturday, December 04, 2004
"Speak with your heart"
I don't like straightforwardness. I am alright with frankness. I prefer honesty.
But actually, the dividing line between each domain is often an unclear one.
People being honest tend to be too straightfoward.
People being straightforward tend to be too frank.
I like people to be honest. But I don't like people being frank for the sake of being frank cos the intention is not at all helping, its meaningless. There is a difference.
Most people's expressions change into a sulky or uncomfortable one when u speak your mind abt them. Shld we therefore refrain from saying things that we know people don't like to hear and only say things that people like to hear? Is that a hypocrite? Or is that merely a form of social etiqutte?
Taufik (the Sg Idol) said b4, " I am actually quite afraid to be judged by ppl and hear ppl speak of my weaknesses and flaws but now that... "
I think this is true for many.
Most people don't like to hear things that they know they don't like to hear. When was the last time you actually go to a friend and tell him/her to state and perhaps elaborate on the flaws in your personality? People don't usually do that... cos they don't want to know. ((at the same time, u may b placing your fren in an awkward position also! cos its awaes harder to speak bad than good abt your fren!)) They know they will be affected by the negative comments in one way or another. They know they will feel uncomfortable hearing things that they find not true about themselves. Research findings show that if person A tells 8 positive things abt you and person B tells you 7 positive things but 1 negative thing abt you, you gonna like person A much more and focus very much on the 1 negative thing abt yourself and perhaps dwell in it. 1 Negative comment weigh heavier than 8 positive ones.
That is perhaps why some celebrities don't read entertainment news, in fear of reading hurtful stuff abt themselves.
It's ironic that
We dare to look at ourselves in the mirror everyday, yet not daring enough to see thru ourselves.
However,
This is perhaps what help us able to maintain a stable self-concept that have us surviving until now.
But actually, the dividing line between each domain is often an unclear one.
People being honest tend to be too straightfoward.
People being straightforward tend to be too frank.
I like people to be honest. But I don't like people being frank for the sake of being frank cos the intention is not at all helping, its meaningless. There is a difference.
Most people's expressions change into a sulky or uncomfortable one when u speak your mind abt them. Shld we therefore refrain from saying things that we know people don't like to hear and only say things that people like to hear? Is that a hypocrite? Or is that merely a form of social etiqutte?
Taufik (the Sg Idol) said b4, " I am actually quite afraid to be judged by ppl and hear ppl speak of my weaknesses and flaws but now that... "
I think this is true for many.
Most people don't like to hear things that they know they don't like to hear. When was the last time you actually go to a friend and tell him/her to state and perhaps elaborate on the flaws in your personality? People don't usually do that... cos they don't want to know. ((at the same time, u may b placing your fren in an awkward position also! cos its awaes harder to speak bad than good abt your fren!)) They know they will be affected by the negative comments in one way or another. They know they will feel uncomfortable hearing things that they find not true about themselves. Research findings show that if person A tells 8 positive things abt you and person B tells you 7 positive things but 1 negative thing abt you, you gonna like person A much more and focus very much on the 1 negative thing abt yourself and perhaps dwell in it. 1 Negative comment weigh heavier than 8 positive ones.
That is perhaps why some celebrities don't read entertainment news, in fear of reading hurtful stuff abt themselves.
It's ironic that
We dare to look at ourselves in the mirror everyday, yet not daring enough to see thru ourselves.
However,
This is perhaps what help us able to maintain a stable self-concept that have us surviving until now.
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