"I am more sensitive than you think I am." (yes reali, believe me)

I ever have friends who kindly told me that I can be quite a tactless person who say things which I am NOT AWARE of how others would feel.
Then one of them would defend for me by saying to the other, " She is like that one larh. Don't have to take it too hard. She meant no hard feelings for saying that one."

When I know abt this, guess how I feel??

I was actually quite happy to know that...

(of cos I din't show it to my fren when I heard that. I pretend to be awkwardly embarrassed and ashamed la. )

Why?

Cos infact all along in the past I think I have been a victim of oversensitivity that has made me easily upset and unhappy over minor issues. I don't want to be like that. It's hurting me and I don't like the feeling at all. I don't like the feeling of having to consciously think about how others will feel abt what I say, get overly anxious on what I've said or to get emotionally disturbed by what others have said and done twds me. It is suffocating and tiring, and infact, very emotionally straining. This perhaps explain why I am rather happy to know that I can actually be insensitive which means to me that I am no longer plagued by oversensitivity. (chim..but do read it again..it makes sense.)

I don't ever want to be a cancerian who is characterized by being sensitive and emotional. Luckily I am a Capricorn.(though I also dun like)
Well but yoke, I think you have done well being a cancerian, holding a rational mind while being emotional and sensitive, most of the time. Kudos!

Pls do not think that I am in any way building my happiness at the expense of others' sorrow by choosing to be less sensitive. I don't purposely say things to hurt others. There are for sure some remnants of oversensitivity left in me for which I will continue to inhibit at appropriate times to make myself more carefree and happy, esp twds wat ppl say and do to me. It is a way for me to cope with any negative feelings I should feel twds others.

In short, I am more sensitive that you think I am, really. Most of the time, I am aware of how you might feel but I really don't wish to think too much orelse I will allow myself to lead a very difficult life. Pardon me pls if ever. (oh no..pls dun think i am finding excuses for being insensitive...i am not in the first place!!! )

Mind over matters- I WANT to believe in that, a notion inspired by the late Ms Hamimah who is the most amazing lady I've come across in my course of study.

You can control how you want to feel. How true is that? Is it achievable??



[a min ago, a fren (u noe who) just sms me to make known to me something that I've done recently. sorrie lor...this one i realli not aware that u dun like. Good that u have made ur stand across to me...will not do it again. ]