"Emotions on the loose"

Why are we biologically designed to let water flow out of our eyes in view of events that are too overwhelming for us to handle calmly?
Why make us waste water like that?


I hate the feeling of wanting to cry. The feeling of not wanting to be seen crying but yet you just can't control the tears from flowing out of the rim of your eyes.
And when ppl try to coax or probe into it, the more you can't stop yourself for water wastage from your eyes.

I just so disliked to be seen crying. For one thing, I look ugly when I cry. For another, I don't wish to give ppl the idea that I can actuali cry so easily.

Easily indeed, which is a very sad fact for me cos I reali don't want to feel like crying just so easily. This sort of feeling makes me feel weak and vulnerable which is definitely not what I would like to experience in circumstances when I should brave up to it instead of feeling 'weak'.

Due to this sad fact, I can't argue with ppl effectively. My mum remembers me from young for quarrelling with her halfway and suddenly voice change, distorted words and off I scramble to my room to cry.

Due to this sad fact, I can predict that there will be little room for me to stand up for myself in times if I were to be maligned/accused by ppl one day. The buffer time between my first word and the moment I start to feel the surge of tears in my eyes is too short for the display of my full speech of defensive words.

It is very sad cos I always have so many things to say back but I know I cannot say it out cos once I start, I know I will begin to feel water circling in my eyes which then will hinder what I want to say. I definitely don't want to appear to be using the 'ku rou ji' either.

The most embarassing incident now that I suddenly recalled. I almost cried infront of a job interviewer when I try to relate and describe how agonizing it is to do sales in the streets. OMG! Can you believe that?
I find myself ridiculous too after I left the interview room. Crazy woman.

I think most of the time I had too desperately wanted to bring my point across and in the process over-expressed in my tone and gestures. That is so usual of me which I consider a bad flaw.

But the flaw that I am more interested to overcome is still to be able to hold back my tears in circumstances when I shouldnt just so easily let them be generated in the first place.